Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Oh, my aching heart...

So, if any of you follow my facebook status then you've seen in the last couple of days that I haven't been having a good time with the kids.

Sitting here, after Mother's Day and the extra hour of sleep that I got on Saturday morning I need to say that my heart is aching for all kinds of reasons.

1. My kids are amazing and loving little animals that make me smile every day.

2. My kids are real big stinkers some days.

I am so grateful for my children and I wouldn't trade them for anything and at the same time I feel completely overwhelmed some days. Someone mentioned on my facebook status that I should be grateful for having kids when some people can not have any and I want to respond to that by saying that I am SO grateful for my children. Anyone who really knows me knows that I live, breathe, eat and sleep my children and I wouldn't trade them for anything. That being said, I'm allowed to feel overwhelmed and like I need help. All days are not supposed to be good days. Motherhood forces one to stretch and grow and bend and flex in unimaginable ways. It is because of the bending and stretching that I am able to grow as a mother and person. I know that the bad days lead to that one great day where I will be able to claim my family for eternity and I'll take them. There is no question about it. But I'm allowed to be overwhelmed and if I can't vocalize those feelings then I may not learn from the wisdom of a mother around me who has been through the same thing and come out on top.

I love my children. My family is the one great success that I have in life. I hear all the time about how I am selling myself short by not working. I hear sideways comments all the time about snooty housewives who don't know anything but the truth is that I am fulfilling my divine role as a mother and a wife and I wouldn't have it any other way.

3 comments:

The Miller Family said...

Amen! Great post.

I feel the same way sometimes...I think every mother has, and if she says she hasn't...she's probably lyig or in denial ;o) Kidding aside, everything you said is so true. And for me, at the end of a bad day, when I'm so exhausted and just want to collapse, I try to remember that without bad we'd know no good, and so it is with my kids. I couldn't possibly love them as much as I do if we didn't have our struggles, ehich cause us to grow closer.

Surely that person on facebook MUST have been just trying to give you another perspectve, right...?

Emily G. said...

I agree wholeheartedly! I had this exact same discussion with David a month or so ago. I'd had several hard days full of up-hill struggle with the kids and spent 10 minutes one evening telling him all the horrible things that had happened. He didn't take all the "complaining" very well until I explained that sometimes I just need to vocalize the things that were a challenge to deal with and just having someone else know the things I faced that day made it better. Sometimes we just need to say "today was hard!" but I made it. I feel like this all ties in to a April 2009 conference talk by Henry B Eyring I listened to today "Adversity" (from the saturday morning session)

Machelle said...

First off, I never have said you are a bad mom or did not appreciate you children. I know you do more than anything on this earth! But, what I was trying to get across (because I know you are talking about me here) is that take it in stride and know that that hard time will pass. I know it is hard being a mom, esp. now that you have 2 to run after. Trust me, with twins, every day is a challenge, esp. now that they are starting to move! Every hard time teaches you something. You probably came out of the time stronger and now know how to deal with it better the next time. So if you took offense to this, sorry. But I was trying to give you another perspective and to just appreciate EVERY single moment you have with your children as you NEVER know what may happen. But I know you love your children and appreciate them as should ever mother.